The Unseen University’s Wizards Guidelines of Slightly Posh Behavior
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Wizards

Paul Kidby, The Faculty of Unseen University © Paul Kidby

This project adopts the Unseen University’s Wizards Guidelines of Slightly Posh Behavior as revised by Mustrum Ridcully as Code Guideline of Conduct.

The current UUWGoSPB is a gamified hierarchic meritocratic system, which considers evidence based science as foundation. Wizardry is casting spells that make the universe doing what you want it to do, and it can’t deny that order. In Roundworld, the only wizardry that exists is computer programming: you cast spells (write source code) that, when executed on an appropriate machine, make that machine do what you told it to.

The harder part of all those spells is to make sure the wizard survives. Only well debugged spells give them a chance.

Wizards are depicted as old, bearded white men, but that’s just a stereotype. Some of them actually prefer to be a black, red-haired ape.

~~Rules~~ Guidelines

  1. Thou shallst not assassinate any superior to get into their place. This is not limited to physical harm, but also character assassination, doxxing, mobbing, etc.
    (Ridcully’s Razor)

  2. Thy level in the wizardry bases on talent, education, proven wizardry performance, and availability of positions in the level you want to achieve. Raise in level is granted by your teachers. There are in total 8^(8-n) positions in level n.
    (Previous Supreme Law Number 1, cast in turned into stone)

  3. It matters what thou doest for the magic, not what thou art, and it matters that this is fun.
    (Alberto Malich’s Rule 1)

~~Guidelines~~ Suggestions

  1. Thou art supposed to teach what thou knowest to those with the appropriate talent, and learn what thou doest not if thou hast the talent.

  2. In case thy temper is going full bursar, eat dried frog pills and calm down.

  3. Celibacy¹ is mandatory. Up to seven sons are tolerated, but keep track of all of them. Daughters count as sons. They all start at level 1, and need magical potty training.

  4. Dress and grow thy white facial hair accordingly to look authentic.

  5. Monitor thy caffeine level to avoid being too far into the sober side, eat enough pizza, go to bed late, and sleep long. Unless thou art one of those early risers, then just stay quiet during thy morning exercise.

~~Suggestions~~ The End

Signed by Mustrum Ridcully in invisible ink.

¹) Note: All available data from the seamstresses’ guild suggests that the closest thing to actual celibacy is a stable relationship, i.e. a marriage.